Monday, December 27, 2010

The Great Businessman..!

This is a guest post by Debapriya Mukherjee. The views expressed are entirely of the author.

What else you can do when you are sitting idle in your room with an Internet connection(which is also provided by the office for free of cost- my PL will kill me if he comes to know),when you have already lost your interest in chatting,u are no longer interested to drool upon sunny leone or jenna jameson,or u dont have the energy to peep in the girls' profiles in Orkut or Facebook?

A doctor: will turn it off and have a sleep.
A lawyer: will surf the news site.  
A studious: will google or duckduckgo or wiki.
A Bachelor IT guy: will become confuse,like I was few moments back with what to do.
Atlast after taking a whole ciggerate,the 6th one of the day - (according to her schedule i had already exceeded my whole days quota by 2) a window popped up in my head saying "Do you remember you own a blog called you can visit that place".

I dont know if it was the effect of the nikotin or what,(non-smokers may call it baseless beleif )-the idea dint came to me before.If it had came to me before I may had lessen the count which is going to be exceeded by some 5 more.

Newy I visited my blog.It was a free ebook downloading blog.I dont know how much bibliophile i was but i loved that task once,people requesting for books and I kept on uploading them.

But the time was really good once,people praised initially,but slowly slowly when the time came of maintaini the blog,things started getting more complex and tougher,beleive me It requires hell lot of energy to manage this ebook download maintaining with the free hostin sites.

Checking Alexa ranking,coding HTML javascript,visit site traffic,fullfill requirement of peoples ,scanning ebooks,creating pdfs,required a hell lot of effort,but a hope was there,that I may get a good revenue from the sites.It was a great idea.People will download ebooks,I will become rich. Wow!!

But probably i was in the 5 th level dream of Inception,After a month of creating the blog I checked my ziddu account,after thousand downloads it was showing 1$.I died of shock,and in that dream I went to a libido.Probably I had created an unbreakable world record of becoming lowest revenued business man,coz i lost almost 18$ in Internet connection,5$ in Electricity bill,and 30 man-days energy just before my joining days in a company where the training subject will be a programming language called doctor Scheme.The less i speak about this language is more better for all.

The name of the book I uploaded last was I TOO HAD A LOVE STORY,It was almost reflecting my devastated situtaion- I TOO HAD A DREAM.

I happily denied the next month Internet recharge.

The ultimate incident happened today.It was the same routine(although my routine keep on changing like Paris Hilton's mood due to some uninterpretable policies of my company).I had a morning shift because My client is an Australian airways company,and now a days they are very very busy in saving the daylight.For that reason they will get up early and start working at 9 o clock AEST but there watches will show 8 am sharp,and these will screw my sleeping like anything because they are 5 and half hour ahead than us.

Still they pay me.I have signed some agreement with my company so I need to jumpout of my bed,lit the number one ciggerate(its named as force-India) and rushed to the bathroom taking my dirty towel(My landlord wont let us use washing machine,because according to him its wastage of water and electric,and i have only one towel,and i have a very very weak memory to remember to buy an alternate towel,and moreover I have a very low-cost mobile to set up an alarm memo,or i had lost my sticky notes or.....leave it).Spending 15 minutes in the purest place of earth I rushed to wear my formal dress.Now thats an etiquette.Formal dress increase your smartness by 100 folds,but reduces your coziness and working energy by infinite number of folds.Still companies will vote for smart workers(I mean smart looking workers.).

Somehow I managed to reach the office in Time.The day was fine.Workpressure was normal.Alas!! everyone will comeup with issues when you are about to leave,specially when you have a plan to spend some quality time with your special friend in Chennai(for me Chennai = beach..nothing more).

The plan got cancelled and my mood decided to give up from adjustments.I cameback,went to bathroom.I was dying to get a bath.It was scorching hot yesterday.
I came back and I sat opening the laptop.

The Chatbox that i had embedded in the blog was showing something,that reminded me of my loss.The loss was not over.Now maximum of the links were not in working stage,that catalysed my fans to became my foes.Cursing and abuses were overflowing.

Finally I decided to give up.I deleted all the ebooks and posts.The 30 mandays were gone within 30 clicks.

The loss I had caused to the authors by putting their books for free,turned out to be a loss of mine.

I decided,now onwards I will only write.No other business.
No other attempts, atleast in Blogger.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Best Birthday Gift :)

This is a guest post by Debapriya Mukherjee. The views expressed are entirely of the author.

Isn't it really exciting for you when your earning suddenly jumps from minus seventy bucks per day(as I always took it from my parents) to a +ve 0.7k per day(aha!!!dats mine)? You can materialize all your fantasies into real.You suddenly metamorphose to a "Please marry my daughter" type bachelor from a "good for nothing" material. You start getting more attention from your family though your proposed idea were equally bad like before. Yeah!the mother Earth starts moving in your orbit when you bag a job. That was the exact scenario with me when I bagged the job in my first campus interview in the 3rd year of my college.

This is why we were taught Panchatantra and Aesop fables,the very first fable that came to my mind was "the farmer and the golden goose".Hence i was feeling like the golden goose who will lay golden eggs.My smiling stopped when I recalled the end.

The first thing that caught my attention was to upload the news in Orkut, as if I won an Olympic gold in 100m sprint.But when I was almost ready with the photos of all locations of my office across India,all my joy turned to shock at a glance.I may get a Gold in Olympic but in Orkut I don't deserve more than a tin or plastic medal. The "update" section was like 100 printf statements running in a for loop as everyones updates looked the same.

Almost everybody had fixed the same photo,those I googled for the medal."Uff!!! they will get a girl earlier than me".Even my tag also deserved a tin."Deboprio ,stamped employed" looked like the movie BLACK in comparison to their DHOOM2 tags.

"X-now a member of tata family" - as if X married Ratan Tata's daughter. "Y-TCS calling"- as if Ratanji came to his home.

Some guy put Ratanji's picture in their display picture.

But suddenly the scene got changed when the sensex had a backpain,and all the software companies of India started cost-cutting(i mean butt-saving).

" X - now feeling to commit suicide"- as if two girls will come and hug him in utter sympathy. "Y- Software companies are like hell"- it was an universal truth from before,it was your fault that you dint know it moron.

I maintained a good one." Deboprio enjoying home after 4 years of college".Now that's an oxymoron. The only guys who were happy and boozing were the guys who worked in monster/ .Probably their tags were like "Recession rocks!!!!". The mailboxes started flooding with job-adds.B.Tech guys started hiding their certificates to join BPOs.Almost everybody started working for CAT/GATE/SBI/CBI/UBI/ etc.

People with moustache turned cleaned shaved,coz Police were searching Ramalingam Raju badly.

Now it was the time for the fathers of the hot chicks,the hot chicks themselves,the jealous neighbours,and most of all the ragged juniors. few months back they used to ask : "Can you give me some tips on technical Bhaiya? I am planning to stress on Technical.TCS or INFY will be coming first.When are you going to join? If you are free can i come to you? Can u suggest me some good books/sites? Can I have your number?..."

Now every cow will have his day.

"Did you got pinkslip before joining bhaiya? I am planning to go for an MBA.These software companies sucks.Will you sit in CAT this year?I am taking coaching from TIME.Should I look a good institute for you? You are out of touch..Please call me if you require my help..Its 98....." Scrapbooks started overflowing with complimentary gifts from juniors.

Frustration is such a thing that increases exponentially and decreases gradually.

I started cursing Paulo Coelho for the famous quote,because I was not ready to start a new battle,and I was wanting the Job desperately,not only because of some girl will come and fill the blanks because of I wanted to see the change in the scenario.My families joy was disappearing like my hope.

Orkut communities became busier than Pentagon,thousands of boys and girls shared their frustrations,spread rumours,protested against the companies.

Suddenly a day a topic in the forum appeared stating : TCS started giving joining.

It was like cool breeze blowing everywhere in the scorching heat of summer.Still I was in a dilemma to beleive as plenty of rumours already spreaded. But i got releived when I got a call from my ex-roommate .He got the joining and the guy who created the topic to spread the news was absolutely true.

I was feeling like beating the junior black-blue,and pluck all the left hairs from the jealous uncle's half bald skull.

Still I have to wait.It was 9th,January 2010.The day after my birthday I got a call at 22:30 from one of my best friend."We got it" - he stated.

I opened my mailbox.There were 1295 unread mails.the first two caught my eyes.

"Wish you a very very happy birthday Deboprio -TCS family"-the first one stated.The next mail stated the date of joining.

After a week I started for Bhubaneshwar - Kalinga Park.

Between I changed my Orkut tag:"GOT MY BIRTHDAY GIFT,A HAPPY FAMILY".

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Unleash the power of new Notepad: Q10

We all know how useful is the notepad. Now what if I tell you that I can enhance it’s powers 10 times over. Yes. I tell you to just click here. It is going to be the moment your PC will never forget. Your old notepad will watch in awe. The other text editing programs will skip a heart beat.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Lock Folders and Hide your secret Files

How many time shave you wanted to hide a particular folder and searched in vain for a free tool. Finally you can get it here. Install this and let your wings let you fly as you store virtually all kinds of files in your computer.

Want to keep your files safe from viruses and other harmful organisms in your machine? Locking your documents would keep them safe from these creatures too! Just take a peak.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

How to delete large folders in your PC with GBs of files in them

Often we see that it takes a lot of time to remove and delete large folders in Windows. Now it won’t. You should feel lucky that you are a reader of this popular blog now because it is presenting you with this lightning fast tool. Click here.

You can perform virtually any kind of operations on your folders with this extremely powerful tool. Just install it to find out the power you really have been missing in your computer till now.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Add Facial Recognition even to your prehistoric PC

Have a webcam? Now you an add the latest highest level of technologies, authenticating a user by his looks, by this simple software. By facial recognition, you can login to your PC in no time. Install this.

All you will need is a webcam. Even in your old PC, you can have this awesome feature to stun your friends by just having the cheapest of the cheap webcam. It will work with any number of users. Try it out. You will surely like it and share this article to all your friends for sure!

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Finally, you can rotate a PDF document!

Many times we PDF readers have faced problems when the landscape and portrait orientation in our document is not as we want it to be. Now it can be done in a breeze. Visit this site. Just upload your document and select the orientation you want tit to be in.

Then you will get your PDF and feel free to read it at your leisure time, or during your work hours depending on what type of document it is!

Friday, December 03, 2010

Control Mouse Cursor using Keyboard

This is a very very very small tool that is going to be very very very useful to you. No joke. How many times have we faced a problem when we wished if we could control our mouse using our keyboards. How good would it be. Install this. This small tool is going to liven up the connection between your cursor and keyboard.